Bart's Blackboard

I will not instigate revolution.


in Moaning Lisa, Episode 6, Season 1

As respostas das Mulheres

Ele disse: Não sei porque usas soutien; não tens nada para pôr lá dentro.
Ela disse: Tu usas cuecas, não usas?

Ele disse: É verdade que só me amas por causa da fortuna que o meu pai me deixou?
Ela disse: Não, querido. Eu amar-te-ia de qualquer maneira, independentemente de quem te deixou a fortuna.

Ele disse: Desde a primeira vez que te vi, quis fazer amor contigo da pior maneira possível.
Ela disse: Bem, conseguiste.

Ele disse: Tens peito liso e pêlos nas pernas. Alguma vez te confundiram com um homem?
Ela disse: Não, e a ti?

Ele disse: Porque é que vocês mulheres sempre nos tentam impressionar com o vosso aspecto em vez de com o vosso cérebro?
Ela disse: Porque há mais chances de um homem ser imbecil do que ser cego.

Ele disse: Vamos sair e divertirmo-nos hoje?
Ela disse: Está bem, mas se chegares a casa primeiro do que eu, deixa a luz do corredor ligada.

Ele disse: Porque é que nunca me dizes quando tens um orgasmo?
Ela disse: Eu até dizia, mas nunca estás presente.

:D :D :D

Bart's Blackboard

I will not burp in class.

There's No Disgrace Like Home, Episode 4, Season 1

Monopoly

Monopoly is launching a new Here & Now World Edition and is inviting everyone around the world to vote for the greatest cities around the globe.

The 22 cities with the highest worldwide votes will make it onto one global Monopoly board.

Please vote for your favorite cities!

http://www.monopolyworldvote.com/en_US/world

Temos uma cidade a portuguesa em votação: Lisboa (está actualmente em número 43 na lista de votações...)

Para além de poderes votar na nossa capital, podes também nomear outras cidades que gostasses de ver na lista.

Bart's Black Board

I will not skateboard in the halls.

in Homer's Odyssey, Episode 3, Season 1

Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here is the 2007 winner:


The Enema Within (May 2004, Texas)

Michael was an alcoholic.
And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally.
His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner.
The result was the same: inebriation.
And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.
Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out.
When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed.
The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself.
Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment."
Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding.
Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!