Strange Buildings - Part VI: Wonder Works - Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, USA

Wonder Works is an amusement park for the mind featuring over 150 interactive exhibits.
Its 55,000 square feet of family fun!

The entire family will enjoy this fun, educational and totally upside down attraction in Pigeon Forge!
Located at the north end of the Parkway, WonderWorks is filled with hands on activities and experiences that will delight and entertain all ages.
And the upside down reference...well, you’ll just have to see it to believe it!

Bart's Blackboard

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.

in The Last Temptation of Homer, Episode 90, Season 5

Bart's Blackboard

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

in Cape Feare, Episode 83, Season 5

Darwin Awards - Pierced!

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:


Pierced!

2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
January 2008, Pennsylvania

A 23-year-old man with various body piercings decided to have some fun at work.
He wondered, "What it would feel like to connect the electronic control tester to my chest piercings?"
Several coworkers tried to convince him that it was a bad idea to wire himself up to the electronic device, but he ignored their pleas.
He proceeded to connect two alligator clips to his metal nipple piercings, one on each side, and hit the test button...
His coworkers were still trying to revive him with CPR and rescue breathing when police and rescue personnel arrived.
They were not successful.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

I will never win an emmy

in Homer's Barbershop Quartet, Episode 82, Season 5

Instruções de Lavagem

Bart's Blackboard

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

in Krusty Gets Kancelled, Episode 81, Season 4

Strange Buildings - Part V: Basket Building - Ohio, USA

What started out as a dream by Dave Longaberger, Founder of The Longaberger Company, has been built into a giant basket to house the entire corporate offices of the company.
Dave believed the idea was one of his best and would draw attention to the company, while simultaneously helping to build the brand.
However, when he started spreading the idea of building a Home Office that was really a basket, he found that most people just thought that Dave was making a joke as Dave was a notorious practical joker.
Not only did the bankers, architects and construction companies not take Dave seriously, neither did many of the employees who worked for The Longaberger Company, but Dave persevered.
One of Dave's most admirable attributes was that when he had a dream and believed in it, he always found a way to accomplish it, and he did. Dave's dream was achieved on December 17, 1997 when the Home Office that is designed to resemble a basket finally opened for business.

In 1998, The Longaberger Home Office also received a Build Ohio Award for its synthetic plaster system.
The building is made of stucco over a steel structure, which helps create the look of an actual Longaberger Basket.
The Home Office continues to attract the attention of media from around the world, even as far away as Tokyo.
While the exterior of the Home Office is a marvel in itself, the building's interior is truly breathtaking.
A grand staircase, player piano and marble floors are just part of the beautiful décor of the building's seven story atrium. The majority of the cherry woodwork used in the Home Office was harvested from the Longaberger Golf Club in Hanover; dried in theirs facility; sawed and shaped at theirs Construction Woodshop; finished in theirs Construction Paint Booth and installed by theirs Construction Division.

The Home Office is a site worth touring whether you are on your way to Longaberger Homestead or any other Longaberger destination.

Bart's Blackboard

I do not have diplomatic immunity

in Marge in Chains, Episode 80, Season 4

Quem tem medo do lobo mau?!

Bart's Blackboard

I will return the seeing-eye dog

in Whacking Day, Episode 79, Season 4

Darwin Awards - Clotheslined!

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:


Clotheslined!

2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
(13 January 2008, Florida)

Wearing only swim trunks and sneakers, a 37-year-old man raced his motorcycle toward the Manasota Key drawbridge.
As the bridge began to open, it was clear that he intended to "shoot the gap."
Bridge designers had anticipated such lunacy and invented the crossing guard.
The closing gates swept him off his Suzuki, over the side of the bridge, into the water, and out of the gene pool.
By a twist of fate the motorcycle continued up the ramp and made it across to the other side.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

I will not sell miracle cures

in The Front, Episode 78, Season 4

A idade pesa a todos...

Wonderwoman


Thor

Superman

Spiderman

Hulk

Batman and Robin

Bart's Blackboard

No one is interested in my underpants

in So It's Come to This: a Simpsons Clip Show, Episode 77, Season 4

Alegria no Trabalho

Bart's Blackboard

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

in Last Exit to Springfield, Episode 75, Season 4

Strange Buildings - Part IV: Le Palais Idéal - Hauterives, France

Ferdinand Cheval (1836 – 19 August, 1924), was a French postman who spent 33 years of his life building Le Palais Idéal (the "Ideal Palace") in Hauterives which is regarded as an extraordinary example of naïve art architecture.

Cheval began the building in April 1879. He claimed that he had tripped on a stone and was inspired by its shape. He returned to the same spot the next day and started collecting stones.

For the next 33 years, during his daily mail route, Cheval carried stones from his delivery rounds and at home used them to build his Palais idéal, the Ideal Palace. First he carried the stones in his pockets, then a basket and eventually a wheelbarrow. He often worked at night, by the light of an oil lamp.

Cheval spent the first two decades building the outer walls. The Palace is a mix of different styles with inspirations from the Bible to Hindu mythology. Cheval bound the stones together with lime, mortar and cement.

Cheval also wanted to be buried in his palace. However, since that is illegal in France, he proceeded to spend eight more years building a mausoleum for himself in the cemetery of Hauterives. Cheval died on August 19, 1924, around a year after he had finished building it, and is buried there.

In 1969 André Malraux, the Minister of Culture, declared the Palace as a cultural landmark and had it officially protected. Cheval's palace is open every day except Christmas Day and New Year's Day.

Bart's Blackboard

Goldfish don't bounce

in Duffless, Episode 75, Season 4

Fotos Famosas - Capítulo 13

"Protegendo a cria"

Uma mãe cruza o rio com os filhos, durante a guerra do Vietname, em 1965, fugindo da chuva de bombas americanas.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not call the principal "spud head"

in I Love Lisa, Episode 74, Season 4

Darwin Awards - Thou Shalt Not Steel

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:


Thou Shalt Not Steel
2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
(8 March 2008, Czech Republic)

Steel is valuable, especially the high-grade alloy used in steel cable.
Scrap metal dealers do not ask questions. They pay in cash.

And a good supply of steel cable can be found in elevator shafts.

This particular gold mine was a towering shaft inside an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague.
The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.
After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable.
At that instant the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downward, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.

Result: one proud winner of a "terminal velocity" Darwin Award.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee.

in Brother from the Same Planet, Episode 73, Season 4

Strange Buildings - Part III: Torre Galatea - Figueres, Spain

The first thing you notice are the giant egg sculptures along the roofline.

Then it hits you that the Salvador Dali Theater Museum in Figueras, Spain, is no ordinary building.

The museum’s tower, Torre Galatea, was named for the surrealist artist’s deceased wife, and Dali himself lived there until his death in 1989.

Interestingly, the museum sits next to the parish church where Dali was baptized in 1904; he is buried in an unmarked crypt in the museum’s main exhibition hall.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not yell "she's dead" during roll call.

in Selma's Choice, Episode 72, Season 4

Fotos Famosas - Capítulo 12

"Triunfo dos Aliados"

Esta fotografia do triunfo dos Aliados na Segunda Guerra, onde um soldado russo agita a bandeira soviética no alto de um prédio, demorou a ser publicada, porque as autoridades russas quiseram modificá-la.

A bandeira era, na verdade, uma toalha de mesa vermelha e o soldado aparecia com dois relógios no pulso, possivelmente produto de saque.

Sendo assim, foi modificada para que não denegrisse a imagem dos Soviéticos.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not eat things for money

in Marge vs. The Monorail, Episode 71, Season 4

Darwin Awards - Chemistry Went To Her Head

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:


Chemistry Went To Her Head
2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
(2 February 2008, Bulgaria)

It was a cold but sunny February afternoon.
Lidia, a biology teacher from Sofia, was driving two friends home from a memorial service.
Suddenly the vehicle stopped.
Bystanders saw all three occupants dash from the car to a nearby manhole and start pouring down liquids and powders from various bottles and jars.
Apparently the biology teacher had been performing chemistry experiments in her free time, and had some leftover noxious chemicals.
It is still not entirely clear what the chemicals were, but two of the bottles were labeled diethyl ether and methanol, both highly flammable liquids.
The former is also used as a sedative, so one explanation for their actions is that they felt dizzy from the ether vapors and thought it was a good idea to pour them in the sewer.
As it turns out, a good idea it definitely was not.
The cocktail of flammable substances in the enclosed space of the sewer caused an explosion so powerful that it launched the manhole cover into the air, decapitating the (briefly) surprised Lidia.
Left without a head on her shoulders, she decided it was time to kick the bucket.
The other two people were not unharmed, but were alive.
They were taken to the hospital with burns on their faces.
They may not regain their eyesight, but hopefully will be able to speak clearly enough to tell their children that tossing random chemicals down the drain is not as wise as it might at first appear.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

Coffee is not for kids

in Homer's Triple Bypass, Episode 70, Season 4

Pôr-do-Sol no Pólo Norte

A imagem que se segue é um pôr-do-sol no Polo Norte, na altura em que a Lua está no seu ponto mais próximo do Sol.

Como podes ver, o Sol está abaixo da Lua.

É uma fotografia fantástica!

Bart's Blackboard

Teacher is not leper

in Lisa's First Word, Episode 69, Season 4

Strange Buildings - Part II: Hundertwasser Building "Waldspirale" - Darmstadt, Germany

The Hundertwasser house "Waldspirale" ("Forest Spiral") was built in Darmstadt between 1998 and 2000.

Friedensreich Hundertwasser, the famous Austrian architect and painter, is widely renowned for his revolutionary, colourful architectural designs which incorporate irregular, organic forms, e.g. onion-shaped domes.

Natural features of the landscape are expressed in this building: the layers of sedimental rock found underneath the site are reflected on the facade in bands of ceramic tiles and coloured stucco.

The roof of the altogether 12 floors is formed by a garden of beech, maple, and lime trees.

The structure with 105 apartments wraps around a landscaped courtyard with a running stream.

Up in the turret at the southeast corner, there is a restaurant, including a cocktail bar.

Hundertwasser died in February 2000, a few months before the building was completed.

Bart's Blackboard

A burp is not an answer

in Mr. Plow, Episode 68, Season 4

Férias 2009

Bart's Blackboard

I will not bring sheep to class

in New Kid on the Block, Episode 67, Season 4

Fotos Famosas - Capítulo 11

"The Falling Man"

“The Falling Man” é o título de uma fotografia tirada por Richard Drew durante os atentados do 11 de Setembro de 2001 contra as torres gémeas do WTC.

Na imagem pode ver-se um homem que se atira de uma das torres.

A publicação do documento pouco depois dos atentados irritou certos sectores da opinião pública norte-americana.

Depois disto, a maioria dos meios de comunicação passou a censurar-se a si própria, preferindo publicar unicamente fotografias de actos de heroísmo e sacrifício.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not teach others to fly

in Marge Gets a Job, Episode 66, Season 4

Darwin Awards - Boner!

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:

Boner!

2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
2 February 2008, New York

A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion.
They stopped for a smoke, and his dog found a deer leg bone! The man tried to take the bone away, but like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure. He stayed just out of reach.
Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged.

Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen.
He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries.
He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion!

At least he didn't hit the dog.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

I will not bury the new kid

in Itchy & Scratchy: the Movie, Episode 65, Season 4

Strange Buildings - Part I: The Crooked House - Sopot, Poland

Though it looks like something out of a surrealist painting or a Disney cartoon - this is a real building.

This building is situated in Sopot, Poland.

It is an extension of the already existing shopping and service center which main entrance is at Haffnera 6 Street.

Most of all, this popular walking promenade is a meeting place of the Tri-City Bohemia, people looking for fun and joy.

There is a variety of romantic cafes, restaurants, shops and entertainment centers in this area.

Opened in 2004, the award winning, by Polish architects Szotynscy Zaleski it was inspired by the fairytale illustrations of Jan Marcin Szancer and the drawings of Jan Marcin Szancer and Per Dahlberg.

Arguably the most photographed object in Sopot, Centrum Rezydent’s 4,000m2 of luscious curves are topped with a roof of blue-green enameled shingles designed to give the impression of a dragon.

Colorful stained glass entrances, stone elevation decors and windows framed with sandstone make a great impression.

There is also an unusual roof covered with sheet metal with enamel roof tiles colored with green shades of blue and Parishian blue, which in the whole creates an illusion of dragon scales.

The building promises more from the outside than it actually delivers once you’ve entered.

Do as the tourists do and take a souvenir picture before moving onto one of the other choices on the strip.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not prescribe medication

in Lisa the Beauty Queen, Episode 63, Season 4

Icebergs Estriados

Os Icebergs da Antártida por vezes apresentam estrias, faixas formadas por camadas de gelo que reagem a diferentes condições.

As faixas azuis são criadas quando uma falha na folha de gelo é preenchida com água derretida que congela tão rapidamente que nem chega a formar bolhas.

Quando o iceberg cai no mar, a água salgada pode congelar na parcela inferior. Esta água, rica em algas, pode formar uma faixa esverdeada.

As faixas castanhas, pretas e amareladas, podem ser causadas por sedimentos, colectados enquanto o pedaço de gelo desliza na direcção do mar.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not defame New Orleans

in Homer the Heretic, Episode 62, Season 4

Fotos Famosas - Capítulo 10

"Espreitando a morte"

Em 1994, o fotógrafo Sudanês Kevin Carter ganhou o prémio Pulitzer de fotojornalismo com uma fotografia tirada na região de Ayod (uma pequena aldeia em Suam), que percorreu o Mundo inteiro.

A figura esquelética de uma pequena menina, totalmente desnutrida, vergando-se sobre a terra, esgotada pela fome, e prestes a morrer, enquanto num segundo plano, a figura negra e expectante de um abutre espera a morte da garota.

Quatro meses depois, castigado pela culpa e por uma forte dependência das drogas, Kevin Carter suicidou-se.

Bart's Blackboard

My name is not "Dr Death"

in A Streetcar named Marge, Episode 61, Season 4

Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:


Merry Pranksters
(2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Unconfirmed by Darwin)

The telephone company was replacing above-ground telephone lines with buried lines. In one sparsely populated farming area, if lines crossed a country road they would dig a trench halfway across, so rural traffic could continue through. Then they would fill in the trench, and dig a trench on the other side.

One morning, local farmers called the sheriff to report a smashed-up pickup. Inside were two ranch hands who were last seen the previous night, heading home after last call. You see...

On their way to the bars, the men had decided to play a prank. They stopped their pickup, and moved the flashing warning signs from the trenched side to the good side of the country road. Crime scene analysis later confirmed that they were the culprits who moved the flashing stands. Investigations also revealed that at the time of the accident, they were driving at an excessive speed with an impressive amount of alcohol in their systems.

No crime scene analysis is capable of determining whether the ranch hands forgot their prank, or chose to see what would happen if they hit that trench at a high rate of speed in the middle of the night.

No good prank goes unpunished.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

This punishment is not boring and pointless

in Kamp Krusty, Episode 60, Season 4

The difference between 1990 and 2008

Bart's Blackboard

I will not fake seizures

in Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?, Episode 59, Season 3

Respostas Inteligentes

Professor: - O que devo fazer para repartir 11 batatas por 7 pessoas?
Aluno: - Puré de batata, professor!

Professor: - Se és tu a cantar, dizes: 'eu canto'. Se for o teu irmão que canta, como é que dizes?
Aluno: - Cala a boca, Alberto.

Aluno: - Professora, alguém pode ser castigado por uma coisa que não fez?
Professora: - Não.
Aluno: - É que eu não fiz os trabalhos de casa.

Professor: - Joaquim, diga o presente do indicativo do verbo caminhar.
Aluno: - Eu caminho... Ah... ...tu caminhas. Ah...ele caminha Ah...
Professor: - Mais depressa!
Aluno: - Nós corremos, vós correis, eles correm!

Professor: - Chovia que tempo é?
Aluno: - É tempo muito mau, senhor professor.

Professor: - Quantos corações nós temos?
Aluno: - Dois, senhor professor.
Professor: - Dois!?
Aluno: - Sim, o meu e o seu!

Dois alunos chegam atrasados à escola e justificam-se:
1º Aluno: - Acordei tarde, senhor professor! Sonhei que fui à Polinésia e demorou muito a viagem.
Professor: - Então, e tu?
2º Aluno: - E eu fui esperá-lo no aeroporto!

Professor: - Pode dizer-me o nome de cinco coisas que contenham leite?
Aluno: - Sim, senhor professor: Um queijo e quatro vacas.

Um aluno de Direito a fazer um exame oral:
Professor: - O que é uma fraude?
Aluno: - É o que o Sr. Professor está a fazer.
Professor: - (O professor muito indignado) Ora essa, explique-se...
Aluno: - Segundo o Código Penal comete fraude todo aquele que se aproveita da ignorância do outro para o prejudicar!!!

Bart's Blackboard

I will not snap bras

in Bart's Friend Falls in Love, Episode 58, Season 3

Fotos Famosas - Capítulo 9

"Protesto silencioso"

Thich Quang Duc, nascido em 1897, foi um monge budista vietnamita que se sacrifricou até a morte numa rua super movimentada de Saigão, a 11 de Junho de 1963.

O seu acto foi repetido por outros monges.

Enquanto o seu corpo ardia sob as chamas, o monge manteve-se completamente imóvel.

Não gritou, nem sequer fez um pequeno ruído.

Thich Quang Duc protestava contra a maneira como a sociedade oprimia a religião Budista no seu país.

Após a sua morte, o seu corpo foi cremado conforme a tradição budista.

Mas existiria mais alguma coisa para cremar?

Durante a cremação, o seu coração manteve-se intacto, pelo que foi considerado como quase santo e seu coração foi transladado para o Banco de Reserva do Vietname, como relíquia.

Bart's Blackboard

I will not spin the turtle

in The Otto Show, Episode 57, Season 3

Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here's one of the most recent stories:

Run! No, Run Away!
2008 Darwin Award Nominee - Confirmed True by Darwin
July 16, 2008, Italy

Ivece Plattner, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar.
Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing.
As you might imagine, given Murphy's law, a train was coming.
The man did not let the queue progress forward far enough before he crossed the railroad.
The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails.
It took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck, according to witnesses.
Finally, he jumped from the car and started to run -- toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his car!

The attempt was successful.
The car received less damage than its owner.
He was pushed hard enough to land 30 meters away, and attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.

The moral of the story?
Momentum always wins.


More stories in www.darwinawards.com. Don't miss it!

Bart's Blackboard

Funny noises are not funny

in Black Widower, Episode 56, Season 3